So I spent Monday evening doing some extreme cleaning and de-cluttering, as I mentioned in a previous blog post. No wonder I felt more up for drawing again after it, a big old plastic bag of random, forgotten, unused objects in the past year that sat undisturbed under a table in my creativity corner has finally been taken out, its contents sorted, and most of them finding their way into the trash. There were old documents from last year's Hong Kong trip for kendo exams, broken figurines I had meant to fix, unused cutouts for collages, fabric scraps, old receipts, pieces of something I do not even recognize, among other odd bits from here and there. Among them are five items that made me go wtf, heave a million sighs, go oh-so-there-you-are, laugh out loud, and snicker at myself (respectively, as with the items below):
|Like, WT???? I do NOT even know why I have this. Nnnnnnnnnot exactly funny. Weird BPI check from nowhere, meet Gomi Bako san. *tosses*|
Really, you turned up so suddenly I thought it was a sudden punch to my pudgy face. WHY were you even there and why do I need to see you.
Anyway next in line is that which made me heave a million sighs, before I was buried under an avalanche of flashbacks, and before I lost consciousness underneath there was the last feeble whisper of what-is-this-universe-a-mean-joke-? and then I die (dramatically).
|I was sliding on rainbows and that was all before I found out, oh, kekkonshiteiru. *signal for anvil to drop*|
There is nothing wrong with your eyes. But of course I wouldn't just flaunt and disclose unnecessarily. At least based on my opinion. Okay, not making sense. Next.
|And I was like: OH SO HERE YOU ARE. My rune stones.|
I used to consult these a lot, and way back I'd show up at Halloween parties and read for people (for free). Anyway nowadays I would have to read and study an old rune book again. I could use these stones again. For myself. And then I can read for you.
|And among random objects lies the head of a king. My sister and I call him Tadase, and now his head has been found! And he made me laugh out loud and report him to my sister who has been kind of missing him.|
|An old planner - I don't even know why I still have it. I think I meant to recycle it as a collage like what I did with the old bigger planners, but NOW I remember after it has made its way to the trash.|
I snickered at the old planner though, because I realize how OC I must have been, making sure each day is color-coded and writing in very small letters every single thing I finished for that day and then I'd have a "miscellaneous" list for all other things that I do not need to do for the day but I still think I need to do at some point and that includes even leisurely activities so I do not forget them. :3 Anyway now my planner looks different although I would still say Lots of OC Traces.
With the old bag of old things gone, I was able to make space for art-things (^^,) I was also able to sleep soundly again the same night I did my extreme cleaning (though I am not finished yet, that was just one section). However last night I think my body had been too tired from lack of sleep and doing so much and thinking so much, that I had some nightmares again, and one of them was too graphic to discuss here, though it is more emotional than scary. And then in another dream just before I woke up for the nth time, I remember sitting on my desk, and our laundry woman coming up and telling me that Suddenly-Distant-san was at the door, and left a message for me, that he will be coming back on "Thursday at 4:40." I was extremely puzzled, feeling the scornful and disdainful energies from downstairs where he stood, and I wondered why he would even come by, when he clearly scorns me. I was so puzzled I woke up, with "Thursday" by Asobi Seksu ringing in my ears and thinking that 4:40 is such an odd time. Upon getting out of bed I recalled my graphic emotional nightmare, which also had to do with him.
Now Thursday is playing and I can only wish I soon, soon, feel NOTHING about this person. Fairly enough, it has lessened significantly, but I am targeting Zero. So that there would be zero meaning to associated things and zero effect from inhales and exhales.