Monday, June 17, 2013

Train of Thought: On Silly Love Problems In the Absence of Real Problems

I was throwing out old and unfinished journals (actually more like journal pages, and then I recycled the notebooks as language study notebooks) and I came across this page which was all about an older man I used to obsess about (okay it wasn't really an obsession but upon realizing what kind of person he actually is I realize it was one crazy phase) and that time I found out he does not like to drink and likes tea a lot which at that time felt like a sign that omg-we-were-meant, but then of course, I was such a delulenoid, not that I am blaming myself. So anyway I found that out and it was such a big deal that it is actually quite embarrassing right now :D

Some of the hearts are just overlays. Oh, and there was also a moment that time when he smiled his wise-old-man-kind-of-smile at me and I felt so Noticed. Anyway and there goes the last f*@# I gave *looks through a spyglass*

Eventually all this led me into thinking about how girls and women sometimes fuss about a man's every action, or put meaning into every little thing a man says or does, even when he does not even bother to look twice, or even LOOK, for more than 2 seconds. And just as I was thinking of that on the way to my room, I heard something along the lines of "I shall do everything to make him like me" from something my mom was watching on TV, and it led me even further to thoughts of:

Creating Silly Love Problems In the Absence of Real Problems Because Really, Some Women Seem to Feed On Problems Whether Imagined Or Not

Women who think, "I shall do EVERYTHING, ANYTHING!!! Just to be noticed or loved by the man I like/want/love" are women who really have no problems, so they create one, even if it is something really silly and shallow.

*insert laughter* (Not that I am being wicked, but it was an unstoppable train of thought, and I laughed at some points. It was almost like, some other me was talking to me about these things. Okay that sounded loony. Anyway, to continue...)

You see, if one is having problems about Not Having Food On The Table or Not Having the Money to Buy Medicines for One's Illness or a Sick Parent, those will be her priorities. If one is worried about her failing grades, or about her deadlines at work, that's most probably what she thinks about most of the time. Therefore, if one's Entire World revolves around obtaining a man's attention, and if she focuses solely on that, and eventually becomes consumed by that, it means everything else in her life is in place. Which is why she has the time and the energy to romanticize and dramatize the whole thing about Not Being Noticed By The Guy She Likes. It also gives her a chance to act like she Has Problems Like Everyone Else. Although this second point is kind of stretching it a bit, I mean really, does Anyone Else really come into one's mind when romanticizing something about the self? Unless it's an audience.

I am not saying we shouldn't be in love or that falling in love is petty. It is NOT petty. Finding and being with one's true love (who is worthy of course) is very important to most of us. Besides, everyone falls in love. It is only natural and it even adds more color to an otherwise dull ordinary day. People even fall in love while in the middle of a crisis. BUT, one will still have her priorities. If one is being so silly about a "love" to the point that she tries to Do Everything and exerts Way Too Much Effort and tries to distort her real self in order to fit into a mold that would seem to fit into the guy's life (or line of vision) just for the sake of being noticed, then there is something wrong. 

If one is SO in love, and she feels sad because the guy she likes is SO blind to her and hardly shows any romantic interest in her, I shall support her and comfort her in such a heartbreaking phase because it simply means that on top of all her other problems and issues, she still has a heartache to nurse. And so, being normal like most women, she just needs love and support from the people who can give them, like her friends. 

However, on the other hand, if a woman is Being Insane about Having to Do EVERYTHING, ANYTHING, just to be noticed and liked, it means: WOW. You Have Nothing Else To Do. So NOW seems to be the time to indulge some whim or to act on fruitless things, right. 

Alright so that was it. Basically it's just that, it's one thing to fall in love and take the time to heal a broken heart (and that is just normal and it requires a lot of care and support from friends), but it's quite another thing to fall in love and do unnatural, insane things just to be noticed by someone who isn't even remotely interested, even going as far as changing one's entire lifestyle and personality and schedules and all that (or maybe peppering a man's Facebook wall with unnaturally-polite not-so-subtle confessions), just to make oneself readily available to someone who is not even thinking of doing any Availing (or maybe he will, but for all the wrong reasons or more like, it's up for grabs anyway so might as well - and who wants that).


  1. Alam mo bang at some point I can totally relate? It's so surreal having read this. Parang it's me talking lang. And I am so glad that phase in my life is OVER. Or is it? We have to have coffee soon! Or you want tea? ^_^

  2. I think, gladly, that this phase is indeed over for us :D Omg I am so late at replying to this because of my internet DISconnection and it's kind of weird replying to this now after you guys visited me XD But that was really great and it IS quite relieving to realize that we are over that phase, and if, by any circumstance we find ourselves being at it again, at least this time we have a conscious choice to stay in it or crawl out as fast as we can :D


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