I really need to draw and paint again soon. And then do it regularly like before. The truth is, this is my first major procrastination with my drawing. For the months of October and November, I only did two pieces each. Now we are almost halfway through December and I do not have anything. Just a few sketches and some warmups for a commission. Last Monday, I sketched something about This Distance (between myself and Suddenly Disappearing People).
|This Distance (2013)|
I was a bit out of sorts Monday, and I barely have any memories of its earlier part, but in the evening, I did have a really happy kendo practice. I enjoyed keiko so much, and I had an energizing and encouraging practice with valuable lessons from the teacher who taught me that evening. He has the firmness and authority of a teacher, and yet he has the kindness and sincere concern of a mentor who has only your best interests in mind, hence he teaches so effectively. By effectively, I do not mean I became a super kendo girl overnight, but he is effective in that he inspires his students not just to do things correctly because he said so, but to do well because he makes them want to really do well. He neither terrorizes nor bullies, nor does he have moods and favorites. He is the second sensei I like practising with the most (at least from those based here), the first being my previous sensei before who was assigned the female players over a couple of years ago.
I had not realized I had such a great time Monday night, until I did so on the morning of Tuesday. I woke up cheerful and I was fired up to go about my tasks for the day.
Apart from my listed to-dos, I even had time organizing some stationery items and rediscovering stocks of sticky notes, among other stationery supplies.
|Tub of Sticky Notes|
I guess I also felt lighter because I think I am getting used to some recent changes in my routine, or something suddenly pulled out of my routine. When I find myself thinking about it, I consciously choose not to dwell and then I move on to what I could better do at that moment. Each day I try Not To Dwell. If someone chooses to be absent from your life forever, then you can only be Even More Present for yourself. So that you do not get lost in that person's absence.
So my Tuesday was getting on in such an Ideal, OC manner. Suddenly…
|Stepping out, bringing my Tokobots with me|
My afternoon plans to work dissolved into thin air, because the entire family decided to step out for errands and things. I had been addicted to Tokobot since morning, since I have finally finished my FF III in DS after what felt like 300 years. So I brought my game with me like some kind of Gadgety Blankie.
We did come back home after a short while, only to be dragged out again because everyone still wanted to go someplace else. It all happened so quickly I even had to bring my mug of coffee to the car. In the moderate traffic, I looked out and enjoyed the OUTSIDE view.
Wednesday, despite having a mix-up about the alarm-time which caused me a great deal of confusion and disorientation in the morning, I would say I was still quite productive and I finally finished a pending job that involved data on circles and venues. The moment I saved all the data, I felt FREE.
|Storage devices, suddenly looking more interesting because of the filter, when in real life I wouldn't even take a second look|
After the morning's work I told myself to add to the warmups I did before with anthuriums on them. I had to Really Tell myself to do them despite my feeling of blah-ness about drawing, since I read somewhere that for you to draw, all you need to do is be present in front of the paper or the canvas and just… draw. Everyday.
However, today, I did not draw again D: I was drunk with sleepiness most of this morning, that I'd have vivid DREAMS Within The First Five Minutes of my naps. In any case I feel more awake now, and having finished the day's work earlier this afternoon, I did some kind of Lady Mary after having provided water for her parched pigs. I had wine and scrambled eggs, though it was my mind that was muddy and not my hair and clothes.
|Merlot and glass, Merlot given by a kendo classmate earlier this year|
So, here's to me. *raises glass*