Sunday, March 2, 2014

Crossroads, Not Always Fun and Exciting

Well. *sips on black tea, with a black heart*

For most of the week, I had been quite ill, though I am much better now. At least, physiologically. Oh, but well, alright, lemme do this in order. 

As I mentioned on Sunday of last week, I was wanting to go visit my old hometown to catch the sun, take a walk, and eat something (no I did not mention the eat-something-part but that was quite part of the plan), but my sister was asleep. So after that blog post I got dressed and stood ON her bed and slowly marched, and she woke up because that-would-be-too-heavy-to-be-the-cat so she had to open her eyes and see what was happening. 

Next thing she knew she was outdoors and catching the sun and the Lovingly Empty streets on a warm Sunday afternoon was exactly what we needed. I mean how great is that - No People. 

So we took a ride to our old hometown and walked by the church and saw twigs and oils and Pouches of Power being sold outside of it, and we were overcome with nostalgia and remembered the old days when we used herbs and oils and chants and such to Make Certain Things Happen. Anyway those days are long gone and we continued our walk, marveling at some new shops and many old buildings we remembered from our odd childhoods. We had been thinking Bee Hoon, so we went to eat Bee Hoon XD The steamed rice buns were unplanned but at least we had a bit to bring to our grandma later on :3 

Bee Hoon. An Instagram friend of mine will be pleased XD It's like I suddenly belong to his club or somefink. 

Anyway the meal extended because of our usual long conversations, and then we decided to get back to walking and to stop by the area where our old house used to be. Now, there is basically nothing but a lovely tree and All That Rubble. (I do not know why that makes me think of Neverwinter Nights.) And of course, weeds and grass and I do not know why some people always have a need to dump their garbage in All Empty Lots. 

Everything is gone and standing outside the fence kind of makes the moment feel Walking-Dead-Zombie-ish. But anyway, there it is. Where we spent most of our odd childhoods. 

Before we headed back home, we dropped by our grandma's home to give her steamed rice buns and just to say hi. I wanted to take more photos from the area of our old home, like my mom's high school building, but for some reason we seemed to be like sore thumbs in the middle of it all, so I skipped taking photos and just went on with our sunny-afternoon-walk. 

Monday came, and I had to take note of how many cases I need to get from the store for the artwork I am selling. As I measured and made lists, I took random photos of some of the pieces I came across. 

Tuesday, I started becoming ill D: I could not function properly, and to everyone's surprise, I refused food. I could not eat nor drink anything because I was badly nauseated and I was just... weak. When bedtime came I tried to amuse myself by keeping my books and my phone (for the Kindle in it) beside me and reading the late night away.

I am actually just re-reading Sabriel, because I like the trilogy, most especially Lirael. Anyway thankfully, I fell asleep soon enough, however I woke up about a hundred times throughout the night, feeling very ill :( Wednesday came and I had hardly slept, and still could not eat. I had begun to think of Last Words because I seriously thought I was dying :) 

I began taking medications by Wednesday afternoon though, and the effect was almost immediate, since I rarely take medicines. I did experience side effects however, so I would get these nasty headaches an hour or so after taking the meds. I was only able to get to sleep Wednesday night because of the Magical Nutmeg Ointment that I got from Penang when I was there. I fell asleep thinking I should've gotten about a hundred jars of that ointment. Well, I didn't know it contained Magic :))

Thursday came and I let myself do one of my jobs, and I ended up Very, Very, Very, Very Upset because of it. Like, Cold-Hands-Angry. Like, Convulsive-Shaking-Upset. I had to use the last vestiges of wellness I had just to keep from losing my temper and to keep my composure and to be a medium of fortitude no matter how constipated that makes me feel. While in the middle of the miserable situation, I had to speak as calmly as I could without exploding, while realizing I had not been That Angry in a long, long time. It takes A Lot before I can get angry like that, see. Anyway, so the air was thick with tension, and I had to walk away from the spot so that my Reverberating Anger won't cause my entire body to drill a hole into the ground :)) I am just laughing about my anger now, but that whole scenario was Far From Fun. Like if I were Fun, that scenario would be like, a vague, distant dot that I am not even sure if I actually saw or something just got in my eye. Needless to say, my headache returned shortly after, so I had to step out and buy me ice cream, which I have not eaten until now because I have begun to associate it with my stressful encounter. 

Friday was the last day of the month, and of all the 15 activities I most frequently did throughout the month, I realize my Most Frequent of the Top 5 Most Frequent was reading books. 

I have also been catching up on Criminal Minds, Dexter, and Doctor Who :3 Oddly though, the least frequent activity I did of all 15 was drawing (^^U) Right now I have this greater need to organize the finished ones so most of the drawings I started do not get finished. And it did not help that I was sick. By tomorrow though I need to get back to drawing, especially for a commission that I need to finish soon because the one who requested for it will be going back home to Japan quite soon. 

So after all that, it was suddenly: HELLO, MARCH. 

I made a nice, neat schedule for the first day of the month, especially since My Own Personal New Year is coming soon, but next thing I knew, my schedule was mostly untouched because a great dilemma fell on my lap. I spent most of my day thinking about it. And then my headaches came back in spurts, and I tried to deal with the initial phase of decision-making as best as I could. I drew a Rune and I got Eihwaz, and I basically need to wait for now until I am clear. I do have an idea though what my inclinations are, but it is a very tough decision to make, and I am practically split. I have not come to a final decision yet, and I think I need more time. I know that I need to choose what would be most beneficial for me, but some things suddenly presented themselves as quite difficult, so it is all suddenly not as simple as I thought. I have yet to see how things will turn out, or at least be very clear about the direction I intend to take. I need to be Very Clear first, then I am sure the rest will just flow. 

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