I bid you good night, with a startup illustration and some blackberry wine.
I am glad I am a bit calmer now, and maybe it is the wine, but what matters is that I am no longer as anxious. Lately it has been Certain Vivid Memories, and earlier this evening I felt that old familiar anxiety that I'd sometimes feel on certain evenings last month. I have no idea why, but everywhere I looked lately, that face would be there, waiting. The smile, the crow's feet branching from the lovely eyes, those teeth, that stubble, that hair. Each element a stab. But now I am thankfully much less anxious. I hope I get to sleep well tonight. I can hardly wait for this phase to be over.