Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Pages, Remembered

Summer-themed felt bookmarks I made two summers ago 

Remembering old page-markers :3 I made them for selling but ended up giving them to friends :D 

I have been reading up more frequently lately, to fill in the silences of the late nights when I am not out and it takes a while to fall sleep, which is fairly soon enough. Last night, though, was an episode of insomnia, which is weird, especially since it followed an evening which had a taste of an old anxiety in it. And then, after nights of Falling Asleep Easily, last night was just tough. Insomnia won. And I could not even focus enough to read. So I wrote. Thoughts and recent seeming coincidences and random ideas and associations. All throughout, a vivid face, and this time I could Hear his voice. The familiar laughter. The familiar smell of the vehicle. The weight on my left knee during drives. That lovely-little-boy scent of hair and sideburns. It was tough, not being able to fall asleep, and being haunted by such, Dreadfully Haunted. I was not depressed though. Oppressed, somewhat; depressed, absolutely not. Maybe I have eased in to the changes since the start of the month, and now I am sliding into the ordinariness of days with a piece of something stabby stuck in my heart and it kind of hurts to breathe. And move. And think. And Remember. But I get by. I hope for better summers in the future. Prettier. Lovelier. Happier :) (See that subtle, mildly insane shift? Fantastic.) 

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