Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Those Faces

Sometimes, you look at your candid pictures and you realise you just do have Certain Facial Expressions. 

Yes. Those faces. 

Speaking of faces, I have recently come to sort of accept that my eyebrows give off a certain impression that does not really help me given my already Bitchy Resting Face. I did not want to accept it at first when a friend told me that there is something about my face that makes people feel and think that I am distant and somewhat cold and as though I did not know a single thing about chores and street food. This shocked me because I feast on street food and grew up doing all sorts of household chores (except ironing because I have this knack for wasting electricity after still ending up with wrinkled clothes). So there came the theory among many that it must be my eyebrows. I could not argue because perhaps, I thought, short and angry-looking eyebrows make me look hostile and undusty and foiegrasfed.

Then one day I took a photo of my reflection in the mirror because I liked my colours that day and later on when I looked at the photo of my reflection (not me but my reflection yes I know okay moving on), I believe I saw what my friend was talking about that people "saw." My reflection was cheerfully smiling in the picture and I still remember how light and happy I felt that day, but somehow, my smile looked like it is somewhere between Having A Good Day and Disparaging A Passerby. Like if I were someone else and I smiled at me that way, I would briefly feel cheered up by the smile but that cheered up feeling will immediately be followed by the uncertainty if I were really smiling at me sincerely or I were just pretending to smile at me but I am really mocking my calves or the quality of my skirt. In any case, such is my face, and at least the people close to me and who matter to me and to whom I matter all know that despite this Bitchy Resting Face I am usually really sincere and just painfully quiet, and I won't just really get out of my way to make my face friendlier because then I would look totally wimpy and asking to be bullied. I know because I have tried. For years. And for years I looked wimpy and was bullied. So now I am tired and just resting, hence the Bitchy Resting Face which is my natural state. But that is just how it looks. In reality it is just the Resting part that is me. 

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