Thursday, January 31, 2013

I feel like 

Ponyo's Lullaby

whenever I see you. 

It's like my insides Musically Light Up when you are around. 

Comfort

Unfinished collage, with picmonkey overlays, words by yours truly *curtsies*

I have again progressed with my GoodReads reading challenge, having finished The Japanese Fairy Book. I have decided to re-read The Fellowship of the Ring, and to start Cloud of Sparrows, so that I am reading a new story alongside one that is being re-read. These are both printed copies, and my Fellowship copy is really old and has that pleasant musty old-book smell. Among these, another printed book I am currently reading is one about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (I am again reminded of my OC behaviors from childhood which I thankfully got over with.) In my Kindle I am reading five books, where in three are re-reads. 

And while I like reading my books alone with coffee or tea and my chair by the window or wrapped in a blanket on my bed beside the window, there are moments when I think it would be delightful to read in peace and in close proximity to one also so delightful. 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Jiiiiii~ O_O

I made another painting inspired by a scene with Itoshiki Nozomu in it, this time with Komori-san, although my version totally changed the context :D I just basically picked up after a screenshot, creating a different story altogether like what I did with A Version of Kenshin. In this version, it is not a hikikomori behind the sliding doors but a stalker, albeit a stalker with permission, hence the title Permitted Stalking. 

Permitted Stalking (Cropped version, with heart effects by picmonkey)

Sunday, January 27, 2013

:D

Well, after my generally lethargic, sullen state from practically the whole day, I am back to my usual state of long flowing hair and fangs.

 image from The Brigette Brigade

After over two hours of great conversation with a friend over the phone, I realized I was feeling much lighter and better than I did last night until early this evening. I was able to tell him pretty much everything off the top of my head, including a story which is often difficult to be absorbed and understood by most people, but which he quickly learned of, and I told him since he asked, willing to understand to begin with. And then everything else was just light and real and funny and open. 

Torn Apart

A tug of war between

Love (pin from vi.sualize.us)

and 

Hate

I am one exhausted and ill rope. 

You see, a few moments of consideration could have been taken. I had just candidly expressed how I felt about a situation and out the window it went. (Really, it went that way.) And I have been spending all day trying to understand, but this obtuseness is kind of killing me. A phone call, anything else, could have been done to address it. 

On a brighter note, this could just end this phase I have been waiting for to end

Proximity

I made this colored sketch which was inspired by a Valentine's art that I saw in etsy. It totally MOVED me because I actually FELT it. I made my version closer to, uhm, reality.


I love him, and though I am closer to a misty-eyed Eponine On Her Own, I am still doing my best to move forward until this feeling has passed. 

Today I shall wash the rocks I will be painting, and a friend of mine just gave me an idea to make something like a hanko but made of rubber eraser to stamp my name, so I shall be preparing the materials for that too! :D I think I need to work extra harder today to wash away some recent unpleasant turn of events and some mild state of emotional drunkenness. It's more of the latter, really, though the former is like one hell of an annoying pebble in my shoe. Hopefully being busy and productive will CRUSH that pebble into fine fine particles. And more importantly I need to sober up and brave dealing with unreciprocated, impossible love. 

Friday, January 25, 2013

Yeiy. Owarimashita.

The last page

Back in 2011 I started a journal in Japanese in order for me to practice even a little everyday. I chose a tiny notebook so that it would be easier to bring around and to fill out. However I would forget to write for days or weeks, thus also forgetting my Japanese significantly, especially kanji. I would either just write in hiragana or spend a significant time searching for the proper kanji. And then there would be times I would try to read what I had written months before, and I couldn't read my own journal entry, either because I no longer remember what kanji it was, or my grammar was so bad I can only guess what I was trying to say D:

Anyway I have finally managed to FINISH the journal and it will become part of my bunch of review materials, then of course, I will start a new (tiny) journal, hopefully with better handwriting and grammar and more proper kanji. 

がんばりますよ!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Awk-weird

I made this art card yesterday right before going to kendo:

That Awkward Moment When You Realize He KNEW All Along

It is something everybody may have experienced, but is particularly something I experience on and off. Other times I pretend he does not know, other times I know he must know but I brush it off. And then there are these times when I wince or kind of panic although it might not be clear why it makes me unbearably anxious and sometimes embarrassed. 

Anyway *brush off* yesterday I had one of those very, very enjoyable kendo practices. I mean they're all fun but yesterday was one of those times when I just felt great and happy all throughout. And then after that was even more greatness and more happiness (except perhaps for the part after dinner where my friends were putting me on the spot with this guy whom they THINK I like but is Totally Not Even Remotely Interested In Me and has absolutely nothing to do with the above art card because there is nothing for him to Know in the first place). 

So anyway after sitting through the Few Minutes of Being Unwanted and Ignored XD some people went ahead and left and the rest of us moved on to Coffee and Conversations That Make So Much Sense and Build Connections. Occasionally I'd have those awk-weird thoughts and moments and Internally I would look like me in the art card but I would proceed immediately to Brushing Off and acting as if I Know Nothing. I think it was a Great night all in all and it was even greater I was able to clarify some things that kind of made me insane some time last month XD I think it really pays to stop and breathe and reconsider and listen and I think I have kind of grown up some more since that time and now I just feel happy so I will paint some more. I am practically glowing. 

Oh but wait this morning I had a very emotionally stressful nightmare, where I totally forgot my manners and threw all my learnings outside the window and was not very nice to Whom I No Longer Wish To Call Yadomi Because I Do Not Want To Perpetuate His Preference For The Menmas/Menmauses besides there was a relieving break from that before I went right back but at a more stable, sane, and safe state so right now he has no name (at least for posts referring to him this way omg more of the above face), and I thought I was going to lose him forever but just right before I woke up, I remember standing there helplessly, a nearby friend horribly drunk and giving me useless advice, and then He passes by and started to apologize and I said not to because it was all my fault and then exactly right before I opened my eyes to fully wake up, he held out his hand to signify we should resolve the issue together, like Together, and relieved I took it and I woke up Just Right After my hand landed on his. It sounds omg dramatic but I almost resented having to wake up from such a resolution that was Not Real After All XD What with all the Realities I don't think we will ever be Together and I only have that art card face inside me but at least it's something I can handle. I think. Haha. 

Friday, January 18, 2013

A Quiet Kind of Happiness

This lovely white cat kind of illustrates a quiet kind of happiness that I mostly feel these days. 

Drew and painted around a partial image taken from an old planner full of elegant cats

The cat image was from a page in an old planner I used to have. It was pages after pages of extremely cute and elegant cats and cat cities and cat parties and cat friends and cat shopping. Then I painted around the image to kind of "expand" the surroundings of this quietly happy cat. It's actually these little things and details I especially like, the twirly vines and the soft spots of color. I copied the curvy lines with a pen and then painted everything else. By the way this whole thing is a page in the Japanese-themed scrapbook I mentioned before. I am not quite sure if the planner came from Hong Kong or Singapore but everything in it had a whole Japanese feel to it so here it is in this particular scrapbook. I did this yesterday while listening to and loving Princess Chelsea whose certain expressions kind of remind me of me but freer. 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

New About the Happy Peach

I mean, literally, New About-the-Happy-Peach :D

I am referring to the About section at the top of the sidebar; for quite some time it used to be this:


And now it has become this:


Maybe next year there will be another version :3

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Cake. Mmm Cake.

Chocolate Cake :3

We had a guest over for lunch and he brought us cake to eat after the beef course and chicken-potato salad my mom prepared :3 It looked so pretty that everyone took out his or her camera to marvel at it, after which we immediately proceeded to devouring it. And yes that round brown thing in which a macaron rested was a chocolate bowl, see:

The chocolate bowl had a very thick chocolate base. 

Everyone turned into small children, handpicking the macarons and chocolate sticks and the "bunny ears" and the chocolate bowl, while I had a grand time Eating The Name. 

It was such a wonderful time and I am happy our guest totally enjoyed coming over and joining us (^_^) 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A Version of Kenshin

So, I finished it after all, the drawing which I previously mentioned I was only halfway through XD I had the compulsion to finish it and just moved my organization of the store merchandise til later :D Besides I have been really itching to finish it especially after it gave birth to various elements, which I shall explain further below :D


This was inspired by the scene in Sayounara Zetsubou Sensei where Itoshiki Nozomu was trying to sell his doujinshi in an event and people thought he was cosplaying as Rurouni Kenshin so the fangirls suddenly flocked to him and started taking his pictures :D Then suddenly I was reminded of Ni-chi (the friend who suggested that whiskers should be added to the Fictitious Pet Ad, and whom I may have mentioned in previous posts XD) because the appearance of Itoshiki was pretty much like him, and I highly associate him with Rurouni Kenshin for about 200 reasons, and fangirls surrounding him is not quite hard to imagine.

And so I decided I shall make a Ni-chi version of the scene, copying the original screenshot and just making tiny tiny changes to make it closer to him, like maybe making the hair shorter and dressing him in blue clothes.

However the additional elements were born and so I had to deliver them.

As I started drawing this morning, I decided to just draw two fangirls taking pictures instead of the original four, so that all of him is visible, and I pretty much like what he is wearing. 

Then there was just suddenly a small pink imp hiding behind his hakama, peering at me as I completed the picture. I was compelled to include him and keep him there. 

And then came the third fan girl, singing (probably Zee Avi's version of Tonight You Belong to Me) and carrying flowers to signify her adoration. 

And then there is a noose, you might be wondering why it's there at all, but it's from some other more competitive fangirl, throwing a noose over his head in order to snag him, I mean REALLY snag him. It's kind of insane, but I must admit it is creative and probably effective. 

And then there are the noren above, one of them representing a stalker who is perpetually tailing him but is often hard to spot. When spotted, she often has a mad look in her eyes. 

And then a cat sleeps, beside an odd plant, and he is oblivious to what is taking place. 

When I finally saved this piece, I realize it is my First painting on paper for 2013! Another first for the year. Anyway I hope my friend likes it though it has become quite far from the original screenshot I showed him :3

Halfway Through

I am halfway through the illustration which I previously mentioned, and it took a longer time than I expected because the whole picture just kept giving birth to additional elements and I totally enjoyed laboring on and delivering them XD The whole idea was inspired by a scene from Sayounara Zetsubou Sensei when it kind of reminded me of the friend to whom I promised the illustration to XD Anyway, now it looks a bit different from the original scene in the anime, but the main idea is there, with a slight touch of Mad Need and Glorification XD

A Representation of A Stalker :3

More will be explained when I post the final output XD Meanwhile, I am taking a rest like this cat, whom you will also find suddenly gracing the picture.

Oblivious Cat

Monday, January 14, 2013

An Avalanche, Soon

So I finally managed to add more rocks to my Rock Art page, though only the latter two are actually the new ones. The black one with the tiny pods was an unfinished piece from 2012, which I got around to finishing before I did the other two. 

You will also find these in my Rock Art page.

These three are still available, meaning they are not gifted to anyone, so they are up for sale. More of them coming up (think avalanche) and I am quite excited by the thought of getting to do them, plus another illustration I am making for a friend (^___^) I hope it comes out fine or at least as close to what I have in mind as possible :3 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

A New Page Totally Rocks

Because my painted rocks are growing in number and I have yet to add even more, I created a separate page for them, so please do check it out (^_^) Just click on the tab above that says Rock Art. 

This means I took out the posted images of these rocks from my Artwork page, which now just contains painting on paper and digital artwork. 

I know I have not painted in a while, but I am bursting with ideas so I intend to get back to it soon. I will also be posting the last couple of rocks I painted, both here in the Rock Art page :)

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A Crazy Pet

What with all these happy stories of rescued pets finding their forever homes, my sister brilliantly came up with a chat message that made me cough up my coffee. She was updating me about her search for projects and that she is still waiting for some responses and in the same breadth said she is doing so in the same manner she is searching and waiting for a Forever Home XD And then I suddenly had a mental image of ourselves in similar pet ads for forever homes, which led me to create this insane piece of fictitious ad, pretty much like the Fictitious BB Cream


It's the photo with the most animal-like blank expression I could find XD Initially there were no neko features since I reminded myself more of (lost) DOG, but Ni-chi (a friend I may have or may have not mentioned before wt :3) suggested I add whiskers so I did and then I added the hana and mimi and then I sent it to him XD (without a purr I promise omg) Anyway my sister was also quite amused by it and while it is an insane fictitious ad I hope the colors brighten up your day *curtsies* 

In other news my hair seems to either grow too fast or refuses to be cut short so after the initial trial haircut, I cut off a bigger clump again before kendo last Monday, because it just gets tangled up everywhere with everything. 


I also cut my hair with the intention to create layers and magnify the natural curls, so now I think they are more visible but the longest layer is still quite long. I think I can manage that though, at least for now. But I do like the feeling of having lighter hair and more curls especially after I wake up in the morning and feel like showing off my head full of wavy soft hair but I am not exactly stepping out in my jim jams right. 

While I am breezy and talking about fake pet ads and haircuts I am also fully aware I have once again reverted back to something I said I'd been weaned from in 2012. The great difference though is that this time it is intense but not insane, inspiring but not obsessive, and I am fully aware that the doors to it are forever barred from me so in any case I cannot claim a forever home in him hahahaha. I am not sure if we are still talking about pets. Regardless, I have other goals regarding that aspect of my life, and I will be reading more Austen. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Saturday Shots

I was ill for most of the weekend, and while I endured headaches on Saturday, I managed to amuse myself by taking my camera with me wherever I went and taking random pictures. 

Clothes hanging in the closet.

Hachi.

A Hello Kitty phone strap from one of my previous Japanese bosses; the beads are part of a Japanese pencil case.

Writing down things I learned from the Austen/Kantor book

Empty bottles of turquoise and auburn ink. I accidentally spilled most of the auburn ink though (^^U)

He seems to have Supernatural-Demon eyes here, don't you think? And he has a certain Look.

Small plants from the backyard.

This is what I replaced the auburn ink with. 

It's the way the sunlight enters our backyard at this time of the year. 

Feasting on sliced Christmas ham. At least now I can taste my food again since the fever has gone away. 

Looking up at the sky because the weather was so great while I was ill and no one brought me soup.

Soothing the soul.

Will post about the three new ones soon.

I don't know if I ever mentioned before that Prang smells like sugar so I tasted it one time and discovered it does not taste like anything. 

Okaeri


Friday, January 4, 2013

Common

Finally, I was able to sew the edges of one of my new tenugui. I received this around February of last year, since everyone who was going to Hong Kong that time was given the same kind of tenugui as a token. However, I never got around to using it since it sat for a long while inside my sewing bin of pending items. A friend told me that he also hand-stitches the edges of his tenugui although he watched somewhere that we don't need to. So anyway I was able to finally get around to sewing the edges of one of my tenugui (I am saying One Of because I think I have another tenugui somewhere in that sewing bin).


This post must sound like it will bore anyone stiff XD But I am just glad to have used the sewing machine again, even for something as common and uncreative as sealing the edges of a tenugui :3 

Right now I have a very bad headache and I cannot make any sudden movements because it feels like my head will crack open and omg, the things and thoughts that will come out of it. It's good though that my cough is almost gone and the common cold that has been threatening to confine me indoors seems to have gotten tired of me and moved on away. However I have to wait out for this headache to leave, though it makes me feel like I am coming down with the flu. 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

First Things First

Five of this year's firsts:

1. First Phone Call

My first incoming phone call was about an hour after midnight of January 1st, from my artist friend JN. He is one of the people I made friends with last year. And now he is also my sempai in art, urging me and reminding me to paint, then paint, and then paint some more :3 And it's good because I need that because I need at least 10,000 hours of practice. 

2. First Mug of Coffee

I slept at a little past four in the morning because my sister came over on the evening of December 31st, and as expected, we spent a huge chunk of time talking and thinking aloud. She also made me watch Sense and Sensibility, and I loved Colonel Brandon / Alan Rickman and I want a Colonel Brandon / Alan Rickman. So after she left during the wee hours, I still spent some time reading a book, until I decided to sleep after four, and so I woke up just a few minutes before noon, had lunch languidly, then became fully human upon having my first mug of coffee after. As I enjoyed my coffee I thought about lessons from the past year and how fortunate it is that I no longer feel compelled to [respond to / snap at] [very lame remarks / poor attempts to be witty] anymore. 

3. First Rain 

The first rain came as I had my first mug of coffee, and it was like a promising sign that the old will be washed away and that new, true paths will be cleared. And I am not sure how, but the air kind of smelled like a date. 

4. First Challenge Taken


Last year, I targeted 12 books for the Goodreads Reading Challenge just to be sure, since there are days when I do not have time to read at all. By the end of 2012, I was able to meet 125% of my goal. This year, I am targeting 14 books :) 

5. First Blog Post

My first blog post comes in today, instead of yesterday, because I spent the whole day reading books and doing things online and then spending time with family in the evening. I did take note though, of five of the first things for this year, and I am looking forward to more (^_^)
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