Wednesday, July 30, 2014

A Totally Different Context

About three months ago, I took a photo of me wearing my black-collared dress, and I totally liked how the photo turned out, despite the fact that the context in which it was taken was so unhappy for me. 

On my way to my final test of breaking patterns; quite a difficult, unhappy time.

Looking back, I realise now that it was the big final test for me to break a very bad pattern, and I am so glad I did it. Not only because I have put an end to a very unhealthy, unhappy vicious cycle, but I have made way for much better, happier things, and quite recently, wearing the same dress, I have changed my associations with it and have further immersed myself in a better, happier situation, away from the bad cycles and the futile efforts and the vile characters.

Caught off-guard; having quite a happy time :)

I may totally look like an alien here with my huge forehead and my big fangs compared to the previous Clara-esque kind-face photo, but back then I was pain-and-bad-decisions shaped into a person, and now I am happy-laughter in the shape of a person. 

Mico was taking random pictures of us and then there was this one with this happy laughing alieny woman XD Later on when we were looking at the pictures I realised that this dress (which I had not worn since that final test) is now in a much happier and better context :) 

It was one of those long-dragging things from which I learned (the hard way) that one really has to identify which patterns bring about occasions of sadness and disappointment and tremendous aches, and then break that pattern, even if little by little. I started recognising mine about a couple of years ago, and since then things have started to change since I took tiny steps to break from the pattern, although the breaking away was not immediately completed. I had yet to go through a series of more fake successes and delusional dramas, until I had progressed to the point of having to take the final step, taking which would finally set me free. It was one of the toughest things I had to actually decide and take action on, but after that I was finally away from that sad, unhealthy pattern. 

Of course it was not an instant shift to a happily ever after and there were still some rough patches I had to go through as I got over my final test and as I warily moved forward, and wearily. Eventually though, thanks to Odin and Freyja, I did find my way, shed old skin in the process, had very specific prayers answered, and now, away from the pattern that led me nowhere, I am home.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

A Year Since My First

I just realised that it was around this time last year when I had my first art commission ^____^ It was a specific request for a kendoka striking forward, with a lion in the background and some fire :3 

Fierce (2013)

Payment was made in kind, and I got paid with size 38 Ladies' shinai in very excellent condition, and which I am still using until now. It is the longest-lasting shinai I have ever used. Come to think of it, I can have some art pieces, not all :D to be paid in kind :) That's an idea :D I can barter my artwork for shinai or supplies or other things I might want or need at any given moment like a a tub of ice cream or Inoxcrom refills, the barter depending on the art piece. Anyway, it has been a year since my first arm commission, and I am happily working on one now, which I intend to finish by next month :) 

Monday, July 21, 2014

Making Art + Sharing Good Food = Happy Week (Despite Illness)

I was ill for most of last week, not to mention there was a storm, and electricity was out for an average of a few hours each day. I did manage to finish two art pieces though :3 

One is basically inspired by Mico and his Mochi Kitty, which is one of my many nicknames from him, which I think is great because I have this thing for nicknames, see.  

The other is the nightly nightmare of snatchers, most particularly the snatcher who stole my mom's entire bag. Happy dreams :)

Thankfully I started recovering from my illness as of Friday, and I was able to go to kendo class on Saturday. I felt more tired than usual though, and briefly felt ill all over again, but just for a while :3 The rest of the weekend was just really lovely, and Sunday was really happy :)

Sunday lunch was very Indonesian, with really good Beef Rendang and Nasi Goreng XD

Mico also gave me a hand. Or two. Or three. 

He often brings me presents or makes food for me which I think is really sweet (^___^) There was also a mug cover with the head of Rilakkuma on it but I have not taken a photo of it because I kept playing with it that I forgot. Perhaps you are more likely to see it in my Instagram or Twitter XD Soon enough. Not now. I am hungry and I suspect I shall raid the kitchen after this blog post. (Why do I remind myself of the Viking who raided all the cakes?) 

I had been craving for something cold and creamy so there was White Chocolate Mocha for me and Choco Chips Java for him before we headed back home (^___^) 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Week So Far, Mostly In Pictures

Oh hello Thursday. Although it is already the evening, well. But there are quite some updates, as you will find :)

Starting with the weekend, so it was a really great and lovely one, spent mostly with Mico (whom I have mentioned a few times before, right). And Saturday as we ate onigiri and drank cold green tea he gave me this oh-so-cute coaster :3

Sunday we went to the wake of a friend's grandma but before that I came across my old set of Rune stones, and I realised it was time to pass them on. So when Mico picked me up from the house I passed them on to him :)

Monday I finally finished Algiz.

Tuesday I cleaned up and re-organised one of the bookshelves in the house. The topmost level had to be occupied by the thicker, hardbound books to make space for more books. 

Wednesday I unwrapped the third canvas for the triptych I have been working on, the second piece for which I finished recently. 

I have only sanded it so far, because it was late in the afternoon and I had to start getting ready for dinner with my sister. I wore my Tardis socks for the first time because I did not want to use it at first just because but okay, socks are supposed to be worn, so, right. 

And then my sister and I had dinner at Nomama Artisanal Ramen. I had the Nomama ramen which I really liked. I loved the soup "texture" and flavor. 

We also shared their tuna spring rolls, and they taste quite unusual, but in a very very good way which I really liked, and which still kind of haunts me until now. I will definitely want to eat more of this again next time. 

Then today, I got up quite late, because I was exhausted from Things. But I was able to make art. Three of them :3

Tomorrow is the start of the weekend so I hope you all enjoy yours!! 

Monday, July 7, 2014

Protective Space

My progress with Algiz, from the time I was starting to color the background blue as mentioned in a previous post

Nearly done. Soon :)

On This Sleepy Morning

Two-thirds done, as I have updated recently. Here they are side by side. 

So I have wrapped them up for now, and have taken out the third and last canvas for the set :)

Will be sanding this new canvas later. Meanwhile I am thinking of taking another nap. 

Happy Monday, everyone!

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Two-Thirds Done!

The second piece of a triptych which I blogged about more than a week ago is finally finished :3 I just need to spray with two layers of fixative before wrapping it up. Then I can start on the third and last piece :)

Meanwhile I am also working on Algiz which I just recently sketched

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