Friday, October 24, 2014


Last year, I painted a couple of stationeries because I found myself with a bunch of blank paper~ 

Captured Heart (June 2013)

Sea and Octopus (December 2013)

And recently I just made another one~

Cloudy (October 2014)

I still have that bunch of blank paper so expect more stationeries (^~^)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Serious, Not Sad :D

Apparently this is what I generally look like when painting.

I wondered loudly how I could look so sad when I was doing something that made me happy, and people told me, "no, not sad; serious." Very well. I look Serious when painting :D I must have been so absorbed.

Anyway, so what is it that you do which makes you so obviously absorbed in a feel-good way? Do more of that. 

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Shushed, Stunned

Shushed (2014)

I rarely draw explicitly unhappy or troubled or miserable images, but sometimes the image that comes to mind is just it. 

I no longer feel shushed now as I did many countless times before, but one occasion inspired this drawing, and I won't go into details but basically it is one of those moments which I am sure most if not all has gone through - when you are stopped in your verbal tracks because you realise you have just heard words or ideas that you thought have long ago died and decayed and suddenly there it was back from the dead like verbal zombies. 

In any case, I have recovered from that occasion though I admit it left me quite shaken, and somewhat changed. It is not all bad though, because I am sure this sort of thing had to happen for a reason, though it may not have been clear to me what. Maybe I do have an idea, but I am sure I shall pick up on it more clearly as I go along. 

The lesson is that we must be careful not to fall back into old patterns or old habits that had pulled us back and kept us from evolving to our better selves. When we do catch ourselves, it is best to snap back to where we have come and then go on and move forward. I guess for me, it was also some kind of wake up call not to fall back into old ways. Though it may have left me scarred, I am guessing it is not something I will never be able to get out of. I believe that there are better things and better times ahead, especially since I have come this far at this time. Maybe I just need to keep my faith firm and let my fortitude take over. Perhaps we all should. 

Friday, October 10, 2014

Better Than Bitter

Funny, my lunch today included bitter melon :D

Anyway, a small painting I finished last month: The Bitter Melon In The Silence of No Stories Allowed. 

It took me a while to post this piece because the supposed content that accompanies this brewed in my mind and waited until it was the right time to be written. However, it has come to a point that it did not have to be written in the same detail as it was in my mind, because Things have gotten quite lighter and, as the title suggests, better. 

Basically the illustration was an outlet of my frustration about feeling like I "just cannot" be happy when the people around me are not given the "privilege" to be just as happy if not happier. And perhaps I needed an outlet because it was one of the patterns in my life - when I simply allowed myself to be shushed when I am happy just because some people cannot find it in themselves to be happy for me; when they only found comfort in my company when I am miserable or sad or at most blah, so that they would not feel so alone or so unhappy. This time though, I just chose to, yes, I still kept quiet, but I chose to just make art in my silence and then lived the happy parts with those who are happy to see me live them. I told myself I must give people time, and that I should sort of share that I, too, despite the happy parts of my life, still have miserable moments once in a while. Not that I am being ungrateful, but that even as I glow with happiness, I still have my feet on the ground and am still dealing with difficulties and the challenges that are always there anyway, whatever our life situation is.

On the other hand, this recent phase also reminded me to not be the bitter melon myself. More than just learning how to deal with bitter melons, I also learned how I can avoid being one. Where others shine and I suck, I need to see what I must and can do in order to move forward and to grow in my own way. Where I shine, I must cultivate what I have in order to evolve and not to simply "prove" to myself that I am not on the "losing" end. In the first place, there is never any competition, except in a bitter melon's head. 

So, while it is natural for anyone of us to feel a little discouraged or disheartened when we feel that we are slowing down in our paths while others are just breezing through or even flying high, we must always remember to return to our centre and just simply keep moving forward. We may stumble and repeatedly fail, but retrying and pushing forward is definitely better than stopping and staring bitterly at those passing us by. 

Then, if we are the ones on the receiving end of a bitter melon's glare or unkind words and disparaging comments, we must not let it hold us back or affect us, nor do we need to pretend that we are on the same page as it, and then let it slow us down or weigh us down with its negative energy.  However we must also not "get back" at them by flaunting our fortune even more, because we just made ourselves worse than bitter melons. 

Just as we must prod on when we are at a seeming disadvantage, we must also keep moving on while things are on our side. Either way, we can only move forward and make the most of the current situation. I know, it is much easier to say it, but sometimes, things happen or certain phases take place, which remind me to look at both sides of a situation and figure out which is the best way to go - the one that is most beneficial to everyone. 

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Dragonflies, Dogs

This is Casper, a really lovely sweet puppy. 

I know, he looks like a really cross president :))))

Perhaps it is because I am posting this update LATE D: Almost a month late, because there have been too many photos on my desktop the photos for this post just sort of blended with everything else D:

Anyway, remember that triptych painting of anthuriums and dragonflies? It was a commission from my friend Midge whom I meet up with once in a while, but more often get in touch with via Facebook. I finished it last August, and when my sister and I went over to her home for dinner last month, I brought the purchased paintings as well :) She was quite excited to see it and I am glad she was happy with them :)

My sister and I were also excited to meet Champ and Casper for the first time XD

Obviously I cannot get my hands off Casper :)))))) He is just so soft and warm and lovely XD I'd carry Champ too if I could, but he is quite heavy and is too energetic XD At some point when the photo above was taken, Champ climbed onto my sister's lap then quickly jumped to mine, knocking Casper off to the side (^^U) Casper was not hurt though, especially since they play really rough with each other :) 

So there, painting accomplished and buyer happy :) The colours also matched her home's colour scheme so it is really great (^___^)

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Blow Off Steam

It differs from person to person, but each one of us should have some kind of go-to activity when we need to blow off steam, and I mean Really Blow Off Steam. Of course we can talk to our friends, but they too have concerns of their own, and it is especially not advisable to go to them yet again just to gripe or complain about the same things or talk about the same issue. We love our friends so we do not really want them to suffer with our malcontent, your warmongering.... WAIT. That was Wormtongue, that was not me. 

Okay. My point is, while I know I should have these go-to activities, I must admit I do not always resort to them. Today though, I learned that really, I mean Really, we should, or at least I should, lest I break things or say unkind words or lose all my hair. 

And we should have more than just one go-to activity because one is not always guaranteed to work at all times. 

Our lists may vary, but basically here are top three go-to activities that I suggest:

1. Make art. 

2. Run. Or walk for a long time. Or if you do kendo, do as many suburi as you can. 

3. Clear clutter or do some major cleaning. 

I have been exhaling and sighing way too many times for the past couple of days (okay maybe weeks, or even months, but the past couple of days had too many exhales that I can actually magically grow a plant almost instantly), and today I was just, Cold. My hands went cold I could have been as good as dead but clearly I am not, so, I did the first item in the list. 

I made art :D

"Such a nice piece of art!!!!!!!" said no one ever. :))))))))))

However I was still shaking and so I resorted to number two. I did suburi with the heavier shinai I have at home. Then I took a shower again and felt more human and less monster. 

So, have yours. Have your go-to activities for releasing all that energy especially if it can be potentially destructive, like angry energy. By having these activities and Actually Doing Them of course, you:

1. let the anger work as fuel for something creative or productive;

2. take the anger out of your system in a more productive or beneficial way;

3. improve your skill (if you made art or did suburi, and even if you did not, you still improved your ability to use your anger as fuel for good things as opposed to destructive ones or those you will regret later on);

4. will have a cleaner room, house, garage, or whatever it is you decided to do a major cleaning in, as well as a cleaner mind and a lighter feeling; and

5. have kept yourself from hurting anyone :D Or anything, including the things around you :D 

Obviously I am no longer as infuriated as I was earlier, and I am now actually about to have dinner and be a warm, live person *grin*
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